Alright sports fans, I’m back in the saddle.  I won’t bore you with the details.  Let’s talk about the good stuff!  I’ll let this picture of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears distract you for a couple of paragraphs.

I was only in hiatus for 6 weeks and I missed all sorts of celeb gossip.  Thankfully I’m not all that big on celeb gossip so there’s not a ton of catching up to be done.

For example, I couldn’t care less about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes getting married.  (I do however love the stupid immature shit that celebrities do though, like JLo saving seats for her friends on the private jet and John Travolta not going because Oprah wasn’t invited.  Gotta love role models.) I wrote sweet Katie off as soon as I heard she was kanoodling with that twit.  I was over her long before she even got knocked up.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still be there to catch her when she falls from grace and is forced to do another semi-nude scene (like in The Gift and Thank You for Smoking) to save her nosediving career.

But speaking of doing audacious things to save a nosediving career, my favorite trailer-trash hottie is back on the singles scene after ditching Fed-Ex (the freeloader, not the courier).  What better way to announce that your school girl kilt is being tossed back into the ring than to show off your new body on David Letterman, paint Vegas red with Mario Lopez (amazing she didn’t get married again), and head out on the town partying with both Paris Hilton AND Lindsay Lohan?  This article was the inspiration for my post title since there’s nothing more fun than witnessing the British press coining of a new celebrity duo nickname.

It wasn’t so long ago (only two kids and two marriages since) that Britney was passed the baton as the new rock sex symbol of the ages when she and Madonna made Christina Aguillera jealous with an extra-long, extra-tonguey french kiss before the world’s eyes.  Not to be outdone in the competition for Brit’s BFF status, of course, Madonna wants Britney to sleep over for Christmas this year.

Imagine the hell of being Britney Spears’ publicist right now.  What a grand orchestration this all is.